The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Let’s talk about stories. The ones we tell ourselves, about ourselves. Starting a business forces you to dispel a lot of them, quickly.
Thriving in your passion and living in illusions can’t exist in tandem.
Recently, I was uploading a photo of myself to Instagram. I thought, “woah this’ll probably be the first pic I ever post of me like, SMILE SMILING.”
Then I scrolled through my feed and noticed that since I started this business, I’ve posted a shit-ton of exactly that.
Somewhere between childhood depression and spending my teen years/early 20s in scenes that glorified cynicism, I got very attached to the idea that Alexx Is Sad. So attached that I not only didn’t notice that I’ve been Happy, a /sustained and reliable/ Happy, for a whiiiile now, but occasionally catch myself tempted to self-sabotage that Happy. “That’s not me! I don’t know how to be that! Let me stay where I’m comfy cause even if that place uhhh kinda sucks it’s easier to be in the place that’s familiar than the place that’s new!”
If you’ve hung out with me enough you’ll have heard me say: if you want the same things at 30 as you did at 20, you haven’t changed enough. I wanted & needed this story then, I don’t want or need it now. Can’t wait to see what’s on the other side of letting it go. Eeee!